Angry Flat Cap: Best of 2014

Alternative title: Scraping the Barrel.

So that’s it. 2014’s almost over. It’s been a memorable one, what with all the UKIP, people pouring ice water over their heads for charity but then not giving money to charity, invasions of celebrities’ privacy, and plane crashes (including a delightful moment where a Sky News reporter went through a dead passenger’s luggage on live TV). You’d be forgiven for wanting this year to hurry up and end already.

Instead of writing anything new today, I’m going to dredge up some old pieces from throughout the year. Think of it like one of those irritating ‘top x of y’ countdown shows that always used to be shown on a Sunday night.

In reverse order, here are the five most popular (according to page views) Angry Flat Cap pieces of 2014:

#5: The time when I emailed River Island with some t-shirt ideas

I kept seeing locations like ‘New York’ and ‘London’ on the front of t-shirts, but why did they never go a bit more local? The question’s still unanswered, as I never heard back from them.

#4 – The time I made a Twitter friend on an overcrowded train

The title says it all really. After that night, we only Tweeted each other when we were on a train and were in possession of some form of alcohol. My Twitter companion seems to have deleted his account now. Maybe he went into rehab.

#3 – The time I got pissy at The Lad Bible for using my stuff without crediting me

I do wish more people had visited a piece where I don’t come across as quite so whiny and entitled. On reflection, this is the internet and stealing content is the modus operandi for a lot of popular sites and internet personalities. Not worth getting worked up about. Only time I feel slightly resentful nowadays is when I’m trying to find a spot on my pictures where the watermark won’t look quite so shitty.

#2- The time I used sticky tape to enable ‘remote play’ on my Wii U

I honestly have no idea how this got to number two. I must have inadvertently SEO’ed the fuck out of this one. It’s not even that great a gag. See?

I can only surmise that lots of people are finding this page on Google, after a long and fruitless search. They click on the link, hoping to have finally found their answer, only to come away disappointed. It’s likely that they want to bludgeon me with that ludicrous controllerscreentablet, too.

And finally, the one at the top spot that makes you wonder why you stuck around to the end…

#1 – The time where I lobbied for Yorkshire independence

Made this in the run up to the Scottish referendum.

Have lost count of how many times I have since been informed that Richard III is buried in Leicester. Funnily enough, nobody has yet been able to tell me where I can get decent chip shop gravy down south.

But wait! If you’re one of those people who likes to find a band’s more obscure songs so you can smugly proclaim those to be your favourite tracks, here are some less popular posts that I can just about stomach:

When a paperwork simulator made me want to be a better human being

Despite the seemingly boring premise, Lucas Pope’s ‘Papers, Please‘ is one of the standout games of the last few years. The game is rigged against you, and you soon start to take pleasure in being petty and unhelpful. Much like being a Londoner, then.

Thanks to this game, I’m much less of a dickhead on public transport.

When I summed up every Men’s Health cover ever

When I posted this on Reddit, some commenters said that lifting weights had helped them to get girls. Reddit seems to be full of people who know the key to getting girls. With so many girls falling into their laps, I wonder where they find the time for Reddit.